Busy and Uninspired, or Just Lazy??

It makes me wonder if the discipline that seems to be required to propagate ones ideas on a successful (or even not successful) blog is actually not discipline but an intense hubris.

I am NOT a disciplined person. I am not organized, despite the fact that persons constantly, with no reasonable evidence to substantiate such a though, insist that I am. I procrastinate, usually to my own extreme detriment. I have no willpower, no follow-through, and suffer from the distraction ailment called (as by divine friend P calls it) “Shiny Object Syndrome.” I recently referred to my inability to remain focused on one particular topic for any longer than it takes to learn the most rudimentary elements of said topic as Intellectual ADD. I am not proud of these faults – they induce much personal shame. But I have yet to cultivate the level of awareness that allows me to avoid these missteps rather than just recognize them.

The quintessential example of this struggle is contained in the date of the previous post. A five month distraction interjected by the brief creation of another 3-post blog that I ultimately deleted upon realizing that it was a cheap attempt to keep musing without acknowledging how un-disciplined I am with this blog.

And yet everyday around the globe, thousands of individuals, many with horrid things to say, many with nothing to say, manage to eek out one revolting or bland, or inane post after another. Does this mean that they maintain a hyper-high level of personal organization? Or is the need to hear (type) their own thoughts and opinions so strong that blogging becomes like breathing –each snarky opinion sent out onto the worldwide web really an insidious form of life-support.

Or perhaps, despite my disregard or often abject disdain for their opinions, I am jealous of their commitment to their blog. I walk a fine line between being technologically savvy and technologically stupid. Maybe my inability to achieve what the smallest schoolchild, the silliest celebrity and the sickest psychopath do with such ease just make me feel more the latter than the former.